Always Be You
by FeedtheFlames
Summary: Merlin has changed, as has the land surrounding the Lake of Avalon where he has lived since the death of Arthur. Both are wild and untamed, dangerous and cruel, but when a young girl wanders in she finds she may be the key to finding the man Merlin used to be. Who is she? How did she get here? Can she save Merlin from himself? Set after the death of Arthur in the series finale.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Hello everyone! I'm sure many of my faithful fans have thought me dead or at least incapable of posting a new story. I've been working on this one for a few weeks though the idea has been stuck in my head for months. Glad to finally have it finished. This story is shorter, shouldn't be more than twelve or thirteen chapters, maybe less. Hope you enjoy it as much as I did!**

Lenaya's mind wandered to faraway places, although her fragile body stayed trapped beneath the covers. She felt gentle hands brushing her long white hair and dabbing cool cloths to her forehead, but she felt as though she were not present. Her mind dreamt of a tall handsome man with dark hair of another life she could have had. A life of adventure and mystery. The hand stroking her hair stopped for a moment, and low voices whispered back and forth before a new set of hands caressed her brow.

"Are you comfortable mother?" a voice asked, dragging her at least part way back from the past.

She looked into the blue eyes of her daughter staring down at her and reached a silky, wrinkled hand to brush the smooth, olive contours of her cheek.

"You look so much like your father," she murmured.

Janelle smiled at her. "He said I always looked like you. He was so in love with you," she spoke quietly but did not whisper.

Lenaya's eyes drifted again. "I loved him too," she whispered.

"Was he your first love, Mother?" she asked.

Lenaya shook her head taking her daughter by surprise. "There was another, before your father. I thought I loved him before I really fell in love, but in truth I loved a part of him, just as he only loved a part of me."

"Who?" Janelle asked.

Lenaya smiled, "His name was Merlin."

~.~.~.~

_Six Decades Earlier_

"I think we're almost there Destin," Lenaya whispered to the old stallion she was riding. She could see a break in the trees letting light shine into the forest up ahead. It was the first bit of light she had seen in over a day. The forest surrounding the lake she was trying to reach was so dense that no light came through the tree branches.

Few tried to cross the forest in order to see the lake, and those that did usually did not return. But Lenaya was young, having just turned eighteen summers last month, and being young she acted as one who believed she was untouchable, and so here she was fighting her way through the dense forest.

Honestly she had been surprised and a little disappointed at the lack of danger in the forest. She had heard tales of obstacles and terrible beasts that captured the unsuspecting traveler who came past, but for her, other than a few brambles here and there, the path had been a fairly easy one. She was not quite sure how such rumors had come about in the first place.

The light grew brighter and brighter as Destin trotted down the path until it finally opened up into the most stunning view Lenaya had ever seen.

Stretched out in front of her, in all its glory, lay the Lake of Avalon. She looked down on it as it rested in its valley, protected by the forest wall behind her. She could see the whole lake from where she stood.

"We are the first creatures to see this lake in a very long time, Destin," she whispered breathlessly to the horse as she took in the view.

The old horse tossed his head and stamped one of his feet, shaking his rider from her reverie.

She chuckled and patted his strong neck. "Now that we are here, I don't plan on leaving anytime soon. Let's set up camp," she stated, sliding from the horse's back and onto the grass below.

Suddenly the hairs on the back of her neck raised, causing shivers to travel up and down her spine. Her head twirled around, looking into the forest and then scanning the hills. Destin nudged her shoulder causing her to jump.

She smiled and patted his nose. "It's nothing," she said more to herself than the horse. "Just felt like someone was watching."

On the hillside, peering from the woods, a dark figure watched the young woman. His bright blue eyes glared suspiciously. She was not supposed to be here.

**AN: Another thing I should mention is the chapters are shorter, way shorter. Hope you guys still enjoy them. As always leave a review please!**

**God bless!**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

**AN: Thanks to those of you who have chosen to read this despite it being an OC story. I promise you will not be disappointed! Enjoy!**

Lenaya had just set up camp when the sun began to set. The fire was burning brightly and she had set traps for unsuspecting animals in the woods. Until they caught anything, however, she would simply rely on the remaining provisions she had.

Destin stood nearby, munching happily on some grass, and she smiled at him. "This is the life, old boy," Lenaya stated happily, leaning back and staring at the painted sky. "No rules, no people telling you what to do; just peace and quiet." Destin lifted his head to stare at her as she spoke but then lowered it again to continue munching on the grass.

"Mind you too much peace can get boring," Lenaya continued. "There is bound to be adventures in this place though. It is quite mysterious here, and I want to discover all its secrets." Destin's ears twitched in her direction but he otherwise paid her no mind. "No one ever talks about this place, you know," she murmured. "I have heard them say it is the resting place of King Arthur." Destin raised his head towards her once again, his ears turned forward, staring at her in interest.

"It's true!" she insisted. "After the battle of Camlann he was taken here by a sorcerer in hopes that his mortal wound would be healed in the magical waters," she spoke with all the air of a storyteller, playing off the magical story as though it were not in fact history but a story meant to be told.

"Unfortunately the sorcerer, Emrys, failed," she murmured seriously. "And King Arthur perished, so the sorcerer laid him to rest in these very waters."

She glanced over at the horse who was still watching her. "At least that's how the story goes," she mumbled, clearing her throat and turning back to the flames. "I wasn't there so I have no proof of it."

There was a sudden snap from the forest and Lenaya was on her feet in a flash, dagger in hand, poised towards the darkness of the woods. She had set up camp right on the border of the forest, not wanting to get too close to the lake until dawn.

"Who's there?" she called, but there was no response.

Just when she was about to relax another snap came from behind Destin. The horse pranced uneasily, his eyes focused towards the darkness that now engulfed them, where the sound had come from. Lenaya moved close to her horse, putting her back to Destin and her front to the darkness. It seemed strangely dark, unnaturally dark in fact, the moon did not shine and no stars glittered. The only source of light was her campfire, and suddenly she felt very afraid.

_SNAP_

She spun in the direction of the first sound. An ominous hissing sent shivers up her spine as finally the creature causing all the noise emerged. Lenaya gulped at the massive beast, a brute that looked very much like a scorpion only a thousand times bigger than any scorpion she had ever seen.

Another sound came from behind her. Destin reared and snorted before spooking and running into the darkness.

"Destin!" Lenaya shouted, but the horse was gone.

Close to where he had been standing was another scorpion. Lenaya swung her dagger and cut off one of its appendages. It shrieked in pain before moving back. Several more had appeared from the darkness but also retreated slightly though still continuing to circle.

One came up behind her trying to embed one of its stingers into her back. She spun around slicing off the tip. Another tried to pinch at her with its massive claws, but she hacked at them until it retreated.

There were too many; they were on all sides, and she could not possibly hold them off. As she took a step backwards, her foot caught on a root, and she fell smacking her head against something hard. She screamed in fright and pain and pulled her limbs close together as everything grew fuzzy. The hissing grew so loud it sounded as though they were on top of her, and she squeezed her eyes shut waiting for the pinch of claws or the stab of a stinger.

A loud and mighty yell caused her eyes to shoot open, though blackness was beginning to pull at her from the edges of her vision. A figure in a black hooded cloak jumped into the fray swinging a wicked looking weapon, a cross between an axe and a spear, or maybe a lance. Lenaya couldn't quite tell as the fuzziness began to take over her vision.

Her rescuer hacked at the creatures with such a fierce intensity and cold precision that, for a moment, Lenaya was more afraid of him than the creatures. As the scorpions turned their attention from her to the man attacking them, she pushed herself up slightly, wincing as her head spun. She squeezed her eyes shut and then opened them once again.

The scorpions continued to fight and then seemed to recognize the futility of their effort. The way the stranger fought was beautiful and terrifying, like a deadly dance, and they could not touch him. Finally, deciding they could not defeat him, the creatures scurried into the darkness like roaches from light.

The stranger stood in front of her, his chest heaving as he breathed heavily, the staff/ax/spear thing in his hand. He turned just his head to look at her, and she could not stop herself from gasping at the cold blue eyes that pierced her soul, and then she passed out.

**AN: So it is Merlin, for those of you who were wondering, though not really the Merlin we remember. Maybe Lenaya will be able to coax out the Merlin we know is hiding inside. If she survives that is.**

**As always leave a review!**

**God bless!**


	3. Chapter 3

Pain… there was a lot of pain, like every muscle in her body was on fire. But the worst pain came from her head, which was pounding. Lenaya groaned and rolled over in the… what was she in?

The events of the previous night came rushing back to her, but the only effort she could manage was opening her eyes slightly. She was in a small room, the walls were made of stone, and it was cold, even under the blankets, but it felt good. She sat up slowly and groaned again, slowly lying back down. Everything hurt.

She managed to move her head around to get a better view of her surroundings. She was in a small room, filled with innumerable odds and trinkets. Charms hung from string on the ceiling, candles with large tumors of wax sat on a dirty windowsill, clay pots and cups lay strewn about the room, and clothes were messily thrown everywhere… and quite honestly, it smelled.

The door to the room opened quickly with a bang causing Lenaya to jump and then grimace at the pain it brought. Standing in the doorway was the stranger from last night, and he looked just as frightening as he had the night before. His face was covered in a thin scruffy beard, and his hair hung in his eyes but was not long. Underneath his bangs his intense blue eyes stared at her causing her to gulp. His hands were tanned and scarred and they curled into tight fists. He wore mostly leather, but his cloak was gone. She guessed he was probably in his late twenties, and he was handsome in his own unique sort of way.

Lenaya sat up a little straighter, but the pain kept her from moving too much.

"Where am I?" she asked. The stranger studied her a moment longer before responding.

"Somewhere you should not be," he responded.

She tried to push herself up with her arms, but they collapsed beneath her. She did not like this, she did not like facing the stranger on her back.

"What's wrong with me?" she asked. "I only smacked my head." She turned accusing eyes at him. "What did you do to me?"

He continued to stare at her and then walked forward and grabbed her arm roughly, his hands were callused and coarse. She weakly tried to pull away. He twisted her wrist around so that her forearm was showing and pulled a bandage off her arm that she had not even realized was there.

Underneath was a scratch which oozed and bled freely. Lenaya stared at it in shock.

"One of the serkets stingers managed to graze you," the stranger explained. He pulled the bandage back over the wound and dropped her hand unexpectedly on the bed. It hit her side with a plop and she grunted.

"A serket?" she asked, lifting her arm to cradle it in her other hand.

"The giant scorpions you saw last night," he explained, turning to a wardrobe and throwing it open. He began to rummage through it even as he spoke. "You are lucky. Most people who are stung by a serket die within a day. I've met very few who have survived." He glanced back at her. "If you had been stung directly you would have died." His tone was very matter-of-fact, like her life was of minor importance.

Lenaya let her head flop down. "Is that so?" she asked, closing her eyes. "I suppose I owe you my gratitude then."

"You owe me a lot more than that," the stranger grumbled.

Lenaya's eyes shot open again. "Excuse me?" she asked.

"You've caused me a lot of trouble. I had to go out of my way just to get to you and don't even get me started on saving you," he spun around, a bag stuffed with items slung over his shoulder. "Tell me, what kind of idiot wanders into a dangerous territory with not but a dagger in their possession?"

Her mouth fell open then closed with a snap before she responded. "I had more weapons. It just so happened that the bloody forest ate them!" she protested. "What kind of prat criticizes a dying person anyway?" she asked.

Lenaya gasped slightly as the stranger was suddenly directly in front of her, no more than a few inches from her face, his angry eyes silencing any rational thought in her head.

"Do…not… call me that," he said threateningly but Lenaya was not easily frightened.

"What's the matter?" she asked, her voice quiet and calm. "You can dish it out but you can't take it?" she asked.

He glared at her and she glared back, not backing down an inch. Finally he spun away from her quickly.

"You're not dying, and I expect you to be gone by dawn," he told her. He grabbed a crossbow and slung it over his shoulder.

She swallowed. "I don't think I can," she admitted, a blush coming to her cheeks. Admitting she was weak was an embarrassment.

The stranger stared at her for a long moment. "Fine," he murmured. "You can stay a few days, but as soon as you're fully healed you are going back to where you came from." He spun towards the door and yanked it open.

"Wait!" she called and he stopped, one hand on the edge of the door, his ear turned ever so slightly towards her.

"I'm Lenaya," she offered. "What's your name?"

He stared at her for a long while. "Merlin," he stated. "My name's Merlin."

**AN: Poor Merlin, can't he be left in peace to wallow in his own misery? Obviously he's a little touchy in some areas but I like Lenaya and her spunk, hope you guys do too!**

**As always leave a review!**

**God bless!**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: So I've been trying to post this chapter for a few days but hasn't been letting me. Sorry it's so late but hope you enjoy it anyway :)**

It was another two days before Lenaya could stand and walk around, and even then she felt very weak. She walked in circles around the room as she tried to build her strength. Merlin brought her food, mostly a lumpy looking stew that did not taste very good, and the rest of the time he was hardly there. Bored and having nothing else to do, Lenaya set about tidying up the messy room and opening the window to help get the disgusting smell out.

Merlin came in, a plate of meat and bread in his hand and stopped, one hand on the handle and the other barely holding onto the plate as he glanced around the room.

"What did you do?" he asked looking at the stacked books and papers and the organized tables. It was the first thing he had said to her all day.

"I tidied up a bit," Lenaya stated, her hand rested on the window sill where she stood, letting the fresh air come in and chase some of the stink out.

Merlin handed her the plate and she bit into the bread hungrily. He walked over to the wardrobe and pulled it open, a pile of clothes tumbled out. He turned and gave her an incredulous look.

She rolled her eyes. "What did you expect?" she asked. "That I would fold all your dirty laundry? I'm not your mother." He sent her an annoyed glare.

Lenaya collapsed wearily onto the bed as Merlin gathered up the clothes again and shoved them back into the wardrobe, barely squeezing the door shut behind them.

"I guess it's a good thing you're up and about," he murmured. "You can leave tomorrow."

"About that…" Lenaya hesitated looking at Merlin nervously.

"What?" he asked dangerously.

She shifted in her seat. "My horse ran off when the… serkets attacked."

Merlin rolled his eyes, "You can get a new horse when you get to wherever you came from."

Lenaya glared at him, "This horse is special, and I am not leaving without him."

"Well you're not staying either!" Merlin stated loudly. "How far do you expect my hospitality to go?"

"Then I'll find him on my own!" Lenaya barked back. "I didn't ask for your help."

Merlin stalked towards her. "This is my land."

She narrowed her eyes at him disbelievingly. "This is the Lake of Avalon, no man owns it," she glanced around the room and scoffed. "You couldn't even begin to afford it."

"I may not have paid for it in money, but I bloody deserve it after all I have given for it," Merlin growled back.

Lenaya stared at him, her eyes still squinting suspiciously, "What does that mean?" she asked.

Merlin stared back and then turned away. "Nothing," he murmured. "It's none of your business."

Lenaya dropped her gaze to her hands glaring at them, trying to repress the tears seeping to her eyes. If Merlin wanted her to leave there really was nothing she could do about it, but she did not want to leave without Destin.

She heard a frustrated sigh before Merlin spoke. "Look…" he began, "There is a pasture a few hours walk from here. Many of the wild horses go there to graze. Perhaps your horse is there too," Merlin offered quietly.

"I don't think I have the strength to walk that far yet," she admitted quiet[y.

"Then I'll go and find him myself," Merlin offered, turning to leave.

"He's very particular!" Lenaya protested. "No one has ever been able to do anything with him except me." She dropped her gaze to her folded hands again. "He was my father's horse, but I inherited him after…" her voice trailed off, why was she saying this? Why was she telling this to a complete stranger?

"I'm good with horses," Merlin stated, but then hesitated. "But I'll wait another day and take you tomorrow," he offered. "The last thing I need is for that horse to get spooked and hide somewhere you'll never find him."

She smiled slightly. "Thank you, Merlin."

He merely grunted in response, turning quickly to leave the room.

Once he was gone Lenaya's shoulders sagged. She was much more tired than she was letting on. Honestly, she was not even sure if she would be up for the walk tomorrow, but she did not want to push her luck, and she truly was afraid of Destin running away from this man and disappearing. At the very least she could try. It was either that or walk back to Camelot on foot, having lost one of the closest friends she had ever had.

**AN: Aw maybe there is a little bit of Merlin left inside. I guess we'll have to wait and figure out if the rest can be coaxed out as well. Leave a review!**

**God bless!**


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: I can't believe it's been a full week since I updated, I apologize. I've gotten caught up doing things and haven't gotten around to it, but here it is, the next chapter, hope you guys enjoy this one, I like it :).**

Lenaya emerged from the room she had been staying in, entering the outer chambers of the small stone cabin. The home was not much; there was a humble looking table with one chair, and a small fireplace rested against one wall with a pot hanging over the dying embers. There was no kitchen and no other furniture to be found other than a large chest that looked as though it were about to fall apart.

Windows dotted the walls sporadically around the room with ratty curtains hanging over them and in the corner, what Lenaya initially suspected to be a lump of dirty clothes, lay her rescuer, Merlin. She wandered around the room opening each curtain slowly and carefully until she reached the one right next to where he lay.

She pulled these curtains back with a flourish, smiling as the sun fell across Merlin's face causing him to wince.

"Rise and shine!" she stated cheerily, causing the lump to jerk.

Merlin glared at her before groaning and turning over, pulling a pillow over his head. "Don't say that," he mumbled grumpily.

"Would you like me to say something else?" she asked teasingly. "How about shake a leg or-"*

"Stop!" Merlin stated loudly as he shot into a sitting position. It was hard to take the intense looking man seriously with the enormous cowlick sticking up on top of his head, but the seriousness in his tone was enough to silence Lenaya.

"I'm awake," he stated turning over to push himself to his feet. His blanket fell from his body as he stood, and Lenaya blushed as she realized he was not wearing a shirt. Still despite her embarrassment she could not help but stare. The man's torso was littered with scars, some old and some new. Many looked as though they were once life threatening injuries and others just looked painful.

She gasped and Merlin glanced at her, noticing her inspection of his scars, but he said nothing as he moved towards the fireplace to stoke the embers. His back was nearly as bad as his front though, and Lenaya could not tear her eyes from it.

"Those scars…" she murmured.

"Are none of your concern," Merlin bit back.

Her mouth closed with an audible snap, and she didn't press any further.

Once the fire was going again Merlin pulled a shirt over his head before breezing outside. In a moment he was back, a dead rabbit slung over his shoulder. He sat down in front of the fireplace to skin it. Lenaya sat down next to him, watching the man.

Merlin seemed intent on his work, but when she inspected him more closely, it was almost as though he was not seeing the rabbit. There was anger in his eyes as he worked, anger and disgust, like he hated what he was doing, yet he hacked at the dead animal with a fierce desire and drive. It was such a perplexing thing to observe, that when he turned those anger filled eyes towards her she physically jumped and shifted her eyes elsewhere.

"Never seen a rabbit skinned before?" he asked. "You look like you're going to be sick."

She huffed, still not looking at him. "I've been hunting plenty of times." It wasn't the rabbit that was causing the queasy feeling in her stomach, but the frighteningly complex man sitting in front of her.

~.~.~.~

Merlin closed the door behind him, turning to face Lenaya, who stood with a pack over her shoulder. One of the packs that Merlin had rescued during the serket attack. Destin had not been wearing his saddle when he ran off, and so the saddle and all her provisions and possessions lay inside the cottage now. She only took the small pack, which held a few useful odds and ends for this short journey.

"Let's go," Merlin muttered, heading off behind the cottage and into the woods, his staff weapon, which he had told her was a bardiche**, in hand. Lenaya had to skip a step to catch up with him, having been distracted by her surroundings. They were nearly right on the shore of the lake, and she had yet to see it up close before now. In the middle was the same island she had seen before with a tall and imposing tower standing in the middle.

"Who lives there?" she asked and Merlin glanced back at her to see her looking at the tower.

"No one," Merlin muttered, walking a little faster so that Lenaya had to trot to keep up.

"Someone must have lived there once," she insisted.

"Perhaps," Merlin stated lowly, "But only the dead live there now."

Lenaya almost snorted at the irony in that statement, but was still transfixed by the mysterious island.

"Like King Arthur?" she asked innocently.

Merlin spun on her so fast that she nearly fell backwards, one of his dirty fingernails pointed in her face. If she had thought he was angry before, she had seen nothing yet.

"Do not mention his name again," he threatened.

She stared at him with wide, yet fearless eyes. "I take it you didn't like the man," she offered. Merlin stared at her before turning around and continuing to walk.

"He was an ass," Merlin stated.

"I heard he was a great man, and a great king," she argued weakly.

"He was a spoiled, arrogant ass who couldn't see what was right in front of him," Merlin stated with finality.

Lenaya's jaw clenched so tightly she could hear her teeth grinding together.

"What did he ever do to you?" she asked angrily.

Merlin seemed to have nothing else to say on the matter and Lenaya honestly did not feel like discussing it any further either.

**AN: Just a few notes on things in the chapter:**

***This was originally a conversation between Arthur and Merlin in Series 3 Episode 7 "The Castle of Fyrien." Poor Merlin can't catch a break with his memories from Arthur. Is it a wonder that Merlin just wants her to go away?**

****bardiches weren't actually invented until much later but it was the only name I could find for the type of weapon I was thinking of and it worked well for the Merlin in this story. It's basically a staff with a short ax like head, if you're curious to what it looks like you can find pictures if you google it.**

**As always leave a review!**

**God bless!**


	6. Chapter 6

Merlin had set a quick pace and Lenaya was determined not to complain or make him slow down. But the weakness she had felt yesterday was far from gone, and so when Merlin finally stated they could rest, she eagerly collapsed onto a nearby log.

Merlin pulled a piece of bread out of his bag and tossed it at her. She barely caught it, but once it was firmly in her grasp she ate of it hungrily. Merlin sat on a nearby rock inspecting her.

"You alright?" he asked.

Lenaya hesitated but nodded, her cheeks stuffed full of food.

"Where are you from?" he asked, taking her by surprise.

"Friendly all of a sudden?" she asked.

"Call it curiosity," Merlin stated looking away from her and inspecting the surrounding hillside and forest. They had stopped in a small clearing overlooking the lake and forest. They had been walking up hill for some time so the view was spectacular.

"I have a question for you instead," she stated, ignoring his query. "Where did those serkets come from?" she asked.

Merlin leaned back as he thought of an answer. "Initially?" he asked. "No idea. They used to inhabit the darkling woods, but after…" Merlin hesitated, his eyes fluttering towards hers and then away. "Recently they and many other dangerous creatures have taken up residence surrounding this lake."

"Why?" Lenaya asked. "Does it have something to do with magic?" Her eyes lit up with the prospect, but Merlin didn't respond. Instead he just stared at her until she felt uncomfortable.

"It's not much farther, we should keep going," he stated, ignoring her question and rising to his feet.

She jumped up to walk after him, but wasn't ready to give up on her questions just yet.

"If there are so many dangerous creatures living here, why do you stay?" she asked.

"I have my reasons," Merlin stated.

"I figured," Lenaya scoffed rolling her eyes.

"Tell you what," Merlin stated, his voice emotionless, "You tell me where you're from and I'll tell you why I'm here."

Lenaya's mouth snapped shut, she had not been as subtle as she had hoped to be. Merlin knew she was hiding something, but she wasn't ready to tell him yet… or ever.

It was about an hour later when Merlin held up a hand, his eyes scanning the forest warily. She walked closer to him carefully.

"What is it?" she asked, her ears straining to hear what he heard, to see what he saw, but she could not see anything despite her years and experience hunting. Nevertheless she could see in Merlin's posture and expression that something dangerous was out there.

And then she heard it, a horrible screeching cry that sent shivers down in her spine and through the rest of her body.

"What was that?" she asked.

"Pheasant…" Merlin muttered, more to himself than to her.

"What?" she asked.

Merlin shook his head as though chasing away some memory. "Come on, we should keep moving," he told her, his eyes and ears still listening carefully. "We only have an hour more to go."

They walked for some time, Lenaya felt like she would collapse any moment, she was so tired. She had long since stopped being aware of her surroundings, and she desperately hoped that Destin would be in this spot with the other horses, or else she did not know how she would travel back.

They moved through the forest into a large grassy clearing. Merlin still looked alert, but Lenaya was struggling to find the right places to put her feet. Forward was generally a good idea.

"DOWN!" Merlin shouted suddenly, pushing Lenaya to the ground where she landed with an exhale of breath. Once there hidden in the grass she could only pant and lay there as she heard the horrible screeches of the "pheasants" once again. Only this time they were much closer.

She pushed herself to a sitting position and saw Merlin fighting a small dragon-like creature, and she suddenly felt the same terror she had when she had seen him the first night. He fought with such anger and coldness, like he did not even see the dragon as a real creature. There was such cold precision in his movement, his posture, and his eyes that she was terrified of him turning that attention on her.

Distracted as she was by Merlin's cold-blooded fighting, she didn't see the small dragon-like creature flying over top of her. It landed suddenly in front of her and roared that screeching sound straight in her face. She fell back staring up at it in shock, her heart felt like it had stopped, and she could not breathe as the beast lifted its sharp claws to deliver a fatal blow.

A roar, very different from the screeching sounds she had heard before, tore through the air, followed by strange foreign words she did not recognize. The dragon cowered and moved away as Lenaya's eyes flitted over to Merlin who had killed the first animal he had been fighting and was now holding a hand outstretched towards the other.

The dragon-like creature turned towards Merlin, dipping its head and cowering as Merlin walked closer. She could see its legs trembling, see the fear in its eyes. Merlin stood in front of it, lifting his bardiche like an executioner lifting his ax to chop off the creature's head.

A sudden strength surged through Lenaya's arms and legs, and she pushed herself to her feet running at Merlin.

"NO!" she screamed raising a hand and stopping the staff as it swung downwards, stopping inches from the creature's neck. Merlin turned those cold, hate filled eyes towards her and she froze. The beast took the opportunity to turn and flutter away. Merlin did not seem to care as all his coldness turned on Lenaya who gulped in trepidation.

Their eyes were locked, neither of them able to move. Lenaya saw the anger in his eyes and for a moment was afraid he would swing the deadly weapon at her, and then his eyes wavered. She could see some sort of struggle in them until finally they softened and he lowered the weapon, turning and beginning to walk away.

Lenaya trembled and felt as though she would collapse, but she was not afraid enough for it to dampen her curiosity completely.

"You have magic?" she asked weakly.

He stopped walking and turned his head slightly towards her. "I am a dragon lord."

She was silent as she processed this information. She had heard of dragon lords in history books. All of them had been killed… or so she thought.

"Is that what those things were?" she asked.

He turned to face her. "They are called wyverns. They are cousins of the dragons," he explained

"So you don't have magic?" she asked, her voice sounding a hint accusatory.

His face turned suddenly ugly in a sneer, "And what if I did?" he asked, walking quickly toward her, so that she took a step back. "You'll run to Camelot, tell them a hermit in a deadly forest has magic? Do you really think they'd care? Do you think they'd even believe you?"

The adrenaline from the encounter suddenly caught up with her and she was feeling dizzy, lightheaded and had trouble keeping Merlin in focus. She swayed slightly from foot to foot.

"Don't be ridiculous," she murmured, trying to focus on the ground to keep it from spinning. "Magic hasn't been outlawed in nearly twenty years." Her eyes travelled to his and she saw the confusion in them for a mere moment.

"Twenty years?" Merlin asked.

Lenaya nodded. "Since King…" she hesitated and caught Merlin's eye before changing her sentence, "Since the last king died."

Suddenly she could not stand anymore and her knees buckled underneath her. She expected to meet the cold, hard ground, but instead felt warm, strong arms catch her, which she assumed to be Merlin's.

"I'm fine," she murmured as he led her softly towards the ground, still wrapped in his comforting arms… _Since when were Merlin's arms comforting?_ She wondered to herself. "Just tired," she murmured out loud.

"Rest," Merlin's voice was gentle and soft. "I'll protect you."

And then she fell asleep.

**AN: So you are learning a little more each chapter. It's been twenty years since Arthur died and Merlin is full of angst right now. Also the pheasant quote is from the episode The Eye of the Phoenix. Series 3 Episode 8.**

**As always leave a review!**

**God bless!**


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: So once again way too long since I posted but I've been on vacation the past few days and no internet where I was. Hopefully you don't hate me and are still willing to read! I really like this chapter and hope you do too!**

When Lenaya awoke she was covered in a blanket and laying by a crackling fire. Merlin was on the other side poking it with a stick. She sat up slowly, every muscle in her body aching. She groaned, not a painful groan, but as someone who is stretching an overused muscle.

"How are you feeling?" Merlin asked and Lenaya paused in order to properly assess her response.

"Alright," she stated. "What happened?"

"You were not strong enough to travel. When the wyverns attacked, you had some sort of relapse," Merlin explained. "The poison was not out of your system yet."

She glanced up at the sky but could not see the position of the sun. Merlin had moved her back into the safety of the forest.

"How long have I been asleep?" she asked.

"About a day," Merlin stated, staring into the flames.

Her eyes widened. "A whole day?" she asked.

"I shouldn't have pushed you to leave so early," he murmured.

"I should not have come here in the first place," Lenaya admitted, drawing her legs up to her chest. Merlin did not respond to that immediately but watched her carefully.

"Why did you?" he asked.

She smiled as she stared into the flames. "I ran away," she admitted, finally telling him at least part of her secret.

"From what?" he asked.

She stared into the flames a little longer. "From monotony and drollness."

Merlin chuckled, taking her by surprise. It was the first time she had seen him smile.

"What about you?" she asked, and he looked up at her cautiously. "Why did you run away?"

He scoffed, "What makes you think I did?"

"Oh I don't know… you're living in a dangerous forest all by yourself?" she teased lightly.

He gave a slight smile, but it fell from his face.

"I made some mistakes," he murmured and then turned his intense blue eyes to look at her. "And they cost me everything." She stared at him in wonder, amazed that she had broken through his walls. "I didn't run away," he continued. "I just didn't have anything to return too."

They sat for a little while longer, him staring into the flames, her staring at him, until Merlin stood up and dumped his canteen onto the flames, walking around the steaming heap of sticks to hold out his hand for her.

Lenaya put her small dark hand in his large pale one, and Merlin pulled her up strongly. For a moment she stood there staring into his eyes, no longer cold or angry but vulnerable and… and something else. His hand squeezed hers tightly and then he let go and turned around.

Merlin finished breaking camp and then slung both their packs over his shoulders. Now they walked side by side as they travelled and the pace was much slower than before, a pace that she could keep up with.

They did not speak, but the silence was companionable instead of cold and distant. It took them a little longer to reach the glen where the horses were, but eventually they stepped out of the forest and into the light of the small meadow.

Horses dotted the clearing intermittently. Lenaya could tell by the lack of equipment on their frames that most of them were wild, but as she scanned the herd she caught side of one white muzzled horse with a lead rope tied to his halter.

"Destin!" she called, relief filling her very being. She stepped forward toward the horse as Merlin stayed behind.

The horse's ears perked up and he began trotting towards her eagerly. She held out a hand to greet him but was surprised when he ran past her, and trotted straight up to Merlin.

She watched the two carefully as Merlin lifted a trembling hand to stroke the horse's nose.

"This…" Merlin's voice cracked. "This is your horse?" he asked.

"Yes," Lenaya responded drawing out the word.

"You…" Merlin lost his voice again, "You said it was your father's before…" Merlin stated.

Lenaya nodded coming to stand beside Destin and Merlin. She reached a hand up to pat the horse's strong shoulder.

"He died before I was born," she told him. "My father that is… I never knew him."

Merlin continued to stare at the horse in awe.

"He is strong… but stubborn," Lenaya told him.

"Determined*," Merlin muttered under his breath, and then a smile stretched across his face. "Hello, Destin," he murmured. The horse nickered happily at Merlin's affections.

"He's not usually like this with strangers," Lenaya admitted, and Merlin turned his studying eyes from the horse to the girl, as though he were seeing her for the first time.

Lenaya shifted uncomfortably as he gazed at her. She brushed a dark curly strand of hair behind one olive colored ear, her blue eyes meeting his in an unspoken query.

"You're Lenaya Pendragon," he murmured, "Arthur's daughter."

**AN: Yay! I'm so excited to have posted this chapter and that you guys finally know (for those of you who didn't already guess :)**

***This is from one of the first fics I wrote, I'm not going to explain what Merlin meant but if you want to figure it out go ahead and read my short one-shot titled Destiny.**

**As always leave a review!**

**God bless!**


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: WAY too long since I last posted! I'm SO sorry! This is why I prefer to have the whole story finished before I start posting but I got overly eager with this one. Half of this chapter was added in last minute so it isn't beta'd and is probably very rough. The next chapter will be newly written to so might take a little longer I really have no idea. I hope to have the rest of this story written in the next week as my wedding is in two weeks! SUUUPER excited but nervous but excited… and busy… so if I don't post a lot forgive me. I won't be posting anything the last week of may or the first week of June as I'll be out of town for my wedding and honeymoon *SQUEAL* anyway without further ado here's the awaited chapte.r**

_"__You're Lenaya Pendragon," he murmured. "Arthur's daughter."_

"How do you know that?" Lenaya asked, a note of panic in her voice.

"I know this horse," Merlin explained, though he said nothing else.

"How?" Lenaya demanded.

Merlin sighed. "I took care of him before I came here."

"You were a stable hand?" Lenaya asked.

"Not exactly. I served at the castle," Merlin stated, although she still felt like he was hiding something. A million questions buzzed through her mind, but one came to the forefront.

"Are you going to make me go back?" she asked.

Merlin inspected her carefully, his eyes seemed brighter and happier for some reason, and he did not look angry.

"No," he finally stated, and Lenaya slumped in relief. "You can stay…" he told her, "for as long as you want."

Lenaya's eyes widened, "Really?" she asked, wondering what brought on this sudden change of heart and cheerful attitude.

"Really," Merlin stated swinging up onto the horse bareback. He held out a hand for Lenaya as she gawked at him disbelievingly. He gave her a disarming smile and she smiled back, placing her hand in his and swinging up behind him.

She wrapped her arms around his muscled torso and lay her head against his back. Merlin grabbed Destin's lead, and they road back towards the cottage by the water.

~.~.~.~

Merlin had spent the ride back asking Lenaya all sorts of questions about her life, her family, what she liked to do, even what her favorite color was. She was surprised by his suddenly friendly attitude, but welcomed it openly.

He made her laugh with his funny antics and jokes, and she teased him incessantly until they finally arrived at his home. Lenaya was laughing and had buried her head in his shoulder to stifle the giggles as they trotted up. Merlin pulled the horse to a stop chuckling as he slid from Destin's back.

He offered to help her down, and she placed her arms on his shoulder, sliding off the large animal's back and into his waiting arms. They were close, closer than she realized, his face only inches from hers. Lenaya could smell the musky scent of a man who lived alone in the woods but wasn't repulsed by it as she first had been.

Merlin's large hands wrapped around her waist, and hers slid down to rest on his chest. The smiles had slipped from both their faces, and their eyes were locked in a stare they could not break. Slowly Merlin leaned closer, and Lenaya did not pull away. His warm lips touched hers, and she felt electricity travel from her lips to the rest of her body.

Lenaya's arms circled around his neck as they kissed softly and tenderly. All too soon Merlin pulled away leaving Lenaya with her eyes closed and her lips slightly parted. She opened her eyes and stared at him, as he stared back with those intense blue eyes. Then she smiled. He smiled back before leaning in for another quick kiss and then led her into the house.

~.~.~.~

Lenaya woke up the next morning, a little groggy. She blinked as she took in her surroundings and the slight ache in her back. She wasn't dainty but she had grown up sleeping on a feather bed and while she wasn't one to complain it would probably take her awhile to get used to it.

Sitting up slowly she looked around the small room. Merlin was asleep in the main living area having chosen to be the perfect gentleman and take things slow. Standing up she got dressed as quietly as possible knowing that Merlin was probably still asleep.

She cracked open the door and peeked out, sure enough Merlin was out cold, exhausted from the previous day's journey. Lenaya slipped outside and spotted Destin munching on some grass near the woods. His ears perked up and he trotted over happily, albeit a bit slowly.

"You are getting old, aren't you?" she asked. "I bet you're thinking of your warm stable back at home, as much as I'm thinking about the soft mattress waiting for me there," she stated absentmindedly.

Destin snorted and dropped his head to the ground to graze some more.

"It's not so bad here," Lenaya stated. "It's actually… nice…" she smiled when she thought of Merlin and the way she had blushed when he kissed her goodnight. She smiled at the horse. "I've never felt like this before," she whispered. "Merlin's… I don't know… there's something about him." It felt like her heart was doing backflips.

Destin lifted a head to look at her with his wise old eyes. "I don't know what this is… but I want to figure it out," she told him determinedly. "I **need** to figure it out."

She heard the creak of the door and turned to see a sleepy eyed Merlin emerge. He smiled at her as he pulled a jacket over his shoulders.

"I was going to go check the traps," he stated. "See what we could eat for breakfast this morning."

Lenaya nodded. "I'll go with you," she told him walking in step with him.

He smiled a little awkwardly at her then reached a hand out to take hold of hers. She blushed and turned her head away from his gaze, a bright smile on her cheeks. As they walked into the woods they talked.

"Do you go into the lower town much?" Merlin asked.

"As much as I can," she admitted. "Everyone knows my face now but I used to sneak down there in my mother's old maid clothes," she giggled. "It was nice, I could really see the people for who they were rather than what they wanted me to see."

Merlin smiled. "What's your favorite place to go?" he asked.

Lenaya hesitated though she wasn't sure why. "My friend Gawaine and I used to sneak into the abandoned black smithy," she murmured.

"Gawaine?" Merlin asked and Lenaya winced slightly, but covered it up with an innocent look. Why should she be embarrassed about her relationship with Gawaine? He was only ever a friend to her.

"I grew up with him," she told Merlin. "He is the son of one of my mother's knights."

"Which one?" Merlin asked.

"Sir Percival," she responded.

"The giant," he murmured and Lenaya laughed.

"Indeed," she agreed, then the smile fell from her face. "He stopped spending time with me when he began training to be a knight."

Merlin didn't say anything and they were left in an awkward silence for a spell. Merlin cleared his throat, breaking the tension.

"Why did you like to go there?" Merlin asked. At her confused look he clarified. "The black smithy?"

She stared at the twigs snapping under her feet. "It was always a mystery. I could never quite fathom why it was abandoned, why no one ever took it over." She frowned. "I asked Gawaine once and he grew silent, I know he knew something I didn't but wouldn't tell me."

Merlin was quiet.

Lenaya stopped and Merlin was forced to stop as her hand fell out of his. He turned to look at her quizzically.

"You know something too…" she accused.

Merlin sighed. "It's not my place to tell you," he stated. "Your mother knows."

Lenaya frowned, "Why would my mother know?" she asked.

Merlin hesitated. "Do you know much about your mother's life before she became queen?" he asked.

Lenaya dropped her head and began walking again, Merlin fell in step beside her. "No, I heard that she was a servant from other people and found her old serving clothes at the bottom of her wardrobe while playing a dress up when I was little."

"Are you close with her?" Merlin asked.

Lenaya thought long about this before answering. "I love her mother than anything," she started, "but she's… secretive." She looked up at Merlin. "And sad," she stated tears coming to her eyes. "I know she's lost a lot, more than she'll admit to me, I feel like she's trying to protect me… but I think she's just trying to protect herself."

Merlin nodded. "Painful memories relived can be almost just as painful as when they first occurred."

Lenaya nodded. "I understand that," she stated. "But I have a right to know about what happened in my kingdom before I was born."

Merlin smirked slightly.

"What?" she asked, nudging his arm with her shoulder.

He shook his head. "Nothing," he stated looking at her. "You remind me of… a lot of people."

The answer was very vague and confusing but Lenaya decided to let it alone. The reached the first trap and Merlin grimaced at the rabbit caught in it.

Curious at his reaction she sent him a questioning look but he simply shook his head and went to work prying the animal from the trap, but she noticed the way he seemed to detest the chore much more than he had the other day, he almost looked green as he handled the animal.

She watched him for a while before stepping forward and taking the animal from his hands gently. He glanced at her but didn't protest as she went to work stringing up the animal and handing it to him before they began walking towards the next trap.

He nodded gratefully and she continued to ponder over him thoughtfully. He was changing, she could see that, but at the same time it was like she was discovering the man that had been there all along.

**AN: As always please leave a review! I'm really liking how this story is turning out and I hope you are too!**

**God bless!**


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